grumpysalmon:

grumpysalmon:

Happy to report that my surgery was a success and I now have no limbs :)

image

*flicks through my notes of what’s popular to say online at the moment*

with metaphors

"This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have."

In 1944 a children’s book club sent a volume about penguins to a 10-year-old girl, enclosing a card seeking her opinion.

She wrote, “This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.”

American diplomat Hugh Gibson called it the finest piece of literary criticism he had ever read.

(via siftingflour)

themarilives:

i made an easter cake

specialkredberries:

who the fuck named toxic shock syndrome am i right i mean tampons are scary enough when you are 13 seriously you couldnt name it something clinical you had to name it DEATH POISON DISEASE

themarilives:

selfies feat. lollipop i stole from my sister

"My favourite thing was a bunch of people made a giant sign that said “How am I going to be an octopus about this?” and held it up during Pompeii at all the right times and it distracted me enough to sing “octopus” instead by accident."
— Dan Smith [x] (via bastillewtf)
tagged → #Bastille
"No writing is wasted. Did you know that sourdough from San Francisco is leavened partly by a bacteria called lactobacillus sanfrancisensis? It is native to the soil there, and does not do well elsewhere. But any kitchen can become an ecosystem. If you bake a lot, your kitchen will become a happy home to wild yeasts, and all your bread will taste better. Even a failed loaf is not wasted. Likewise, cheese makers wash the dairy floor with whey. Tomato gardeners compost with rotten tomatoes. No writing is wasted: the words you can’t put in your book can wash the floor, live in the soil, lurk around in the air. They will make the next words better."
— Erin Bow  (via chrstn)

bluebackstabber:

should i attend college or take the black

tagged → #game of thrones #got
"In 2016, would you prefer to be called Madame President or Mrs. President?"